Leaving Do

Well props to mum and ed for throwing such an epic party, the chinese lanterns were a nice touch.  It was nice to have all the family over for a good knees up, maybe we could make it an annual thing :p  I woke up this morning feeling good and headache free, but soon realised that i had lost the ability to walk. Well time to go soon, farewell guys, i shall keep you all posted. Lots of love and big thank you to everyone who came, especially Janet, you crazy bitch =p xxx
Dane & Tina xxxxxxx
^____^

Moving In

Some days i used to sleep over Osaka's house, she absolutely hated it there and i could see why.

• No Hot Water
• No Internet
• Broken Toilet
• Cold
• Really Dirty

We had only been together about a few months at this point but i could feel the elbow in the ribs, it was time to move her in with me.  Then i learned what every man learns when he lets his lady friend co-habit with him, all your stuff is stupid.  I managed to keep my guitar, but all my lovely posters and magazines went straight in the bin :(  I was expecting ducks to be hung up on a line in my living room but fortunately it didn't come to that, and i will give a thumbs up to the bamboo bed mats as they really keep you cool in the warm weather.  All the knifes and forks were replaced with chopsticks, so it was a matter of quickly learn how to use chopsticks or starve.  My first-aid box was kitted out with chinese medicine, which meant that now i couldn't read what any of it was for lol.  Still it was all worth it as her cooking is Immense, i mean it's like she's woken up my tastebuds.  I always thought the stuff you get from the restaurants and take-aways was proper chinese food but i was so wrong.  It helps if you keep an open mind though, and i don't care what anyone says, chickens feet are delicous :D

Friends

From now on i'll refer to my partner as Osaka, as she has the EXACT persona of Osaka from Azumanga Daioh.  Quick link for those of you not familiar with it.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayumu_Kasuga

It wasn't long before i made some new chinese friends. The first i shall dub Koala as she's rarely ever seen out of bed and gets very moody if you wake her up. She came over with Osaka from China and were housemates.  Her idea of exercise is to carry really heavy vegetables around rather than eat them.  Initially she thought of me as a stereotypical Englishman (A complete wanker), but now she thinks of me as a genuine chinese boy lol.  I did make a bad impression in the beginning though , as i took Osaka out for a meal and we had some wine.  She was smiling all evening which was normal as she always smiles anyway.  We were ready to leave and I didn't realise until she tried to stand up that she was completely pissed and unable to walk.  When i took her home i dumped her with Koala and made a sharp exit, needless to say Koala was not pleased. Also she once told me that the reason she and all her friends are on the same menstrual cycle, is because when girls become close friends this automatically happens, so they have more time to play together.(again another myth i'm unsure about)

The second is known as Panda, basically because he's cute like a panda.  He's also the waiter i mentioned previously.  He used to be the manager but that was only for one day, unfortunately for him it was the day the restaurant caught fire lol.

First Kiss

Our second date was much better than our first.

Shave....check
Tidy Clothes...check
On Time...check
What do you do to yourself before you reck yourself....check

We went to a nice little secluded Inn up past Draethen,  it was a nice sunny day and i scored some points early as i downloaded some of her favourite music and made a CD to play in the car as we drove up.  We sat out in the beer garden and i was surprised by how much we had in common.  We were both lazy, loved chinese food, loved anime, had similar ideals and above all we were both very childish.  I Imagine anyone listening to our conversation that day probably thought we were a pair of 5 year olds.  Her jokes were that bad that they were really funny, i don't know wether it was because they were so stupid or if it was because she told them in a chinese accent but heres an example.

'A white cat falls in a pond and starts drowning, a black cat comes and rescues the white cat.  What do you think the white cat said to the black cat?'  My first thought was 'thanks for saving me'. She smiled at me and said  'Meow'.

She also showed me a magic trick where she put one arm out, then the other, rested her head between her hands and went 'one leaf......two leaf.....Flower!'  This childish banter went on for hours and in fact they had to chuck us out at closing time.  As i drove her home she spotted a pair of shoes dangling from some telephone wires, she pointed out to me that this was a sign that gay people lived in this area, i had never heard this before and to this day i'm not sure wether it's true or not (probably not).
As i pulled up by her house i noticed a nosy old lady peeping out of a nearby shop window, even when i stared back at her she continued to stare at us which was a bit unsettling.  We got out the car and walked a few yards to her house,  her frontdoor had a little archway which was out of view, so i siezed my oppurtunity like a leopard tackling a gazelle and kissed her.  Her lips tasted like strawberrys, in my mind i was thinking it was because she was so sweet but it was probably from the strawberry icecream she had for dessert.  Mine probably tasted like apples as i was drinking cider :D

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Our First Date

I sent a few texts and phoned her twice without reply.  I thought at that moment she had only given me her number as she must have felt bad tipping pepsi on me.  I was sat by the phone ready to give up when suddenly she called me.  She asked if i'd like to take her to the cinema later when she finished work, i didn't catch the name of the film she said but i got 'meet there for 10' and that's all i needed.  at 6 i was still sat at home in my dressing gown and slippers thinking i had bags of time.  Next thing i know i get a call from her asking rather abruptly 'where are you?'  I paused for a moment and replied 'at home...why?' I had misheard her earlier, i was actually susposed to meet her at 6, not 10.  I thought to myself that 10 was a bit late to see a film but never questioned it.  I couldn't believe it, here i was sat in my slippers and i had a hot date waiting for me outside cwmbran cinema!  I had fucked up bigtime, even my brain was having a go at me saying' you stupid bastard, you had one chance and you blew it!' I hadn't even shaved or done my hair, but i was in a panic so i just threw on a wrinkly shirt, jeans and some ugly flipflops.  It took me 10 minutes to drive 90mph to cwmbran and when i turned up she looked absolutely stunning.  I on the other hand looked like a tramp.  I apologised profusely and we went in to watch the film, it turned out to be Inception again which was good as i didn't understand it all properly the first time.  When we came out i thought the film would be a good topic to break the ice but when i asked her what she thought of it she just said she didn't understand any of it.  She had a lift waiting for her outside so i quickly managed to secure a 2nd date by insisting that i pay next time.  As i got in the car to go home, a dozen messages came through all off her.  It turns out she did reply to the messages i sent her that morning, my phone had just been on the blink and i hadn't received them until now.  It even had the correct time to be there on one of the texts.  I wanted to throw my phone in the bin.

The Day I Found Her

For about a month i didn't feel like doing much, i would just stay at home sulking that i'd never see that girl again.  My mate offered to take me out for a movie and a bite to eat to try and cheer me up.  I didn't tell him why i was feeling sad though.  For a change we went to the wonderful city of Cwmbran and ended up watching Inception, this had cheered me up a little bit as i thought it was an amazing film and thoroughly enjoyed it. After the film i asked him where did he want to eat, he told me there was a oriental buffet nearby.  So we walked up the stairs and through the double doors into the restaurant, I couldn't believe my eyes.  It was a miracle, she was there, my lost asian princess.....i had found her!  Instantly a huge smile appeared on my face and no matter how hard i tried to look normal i couldn't stop smiling.  I didn't want my friend taking the piss so i waited 1 week and went back to the restaurant by myself.  The waiter (now a good friend) showed me to a table, i asked him for a drink, sat down and started scanning the room for her.  She emerged out of the bar area and by luck it was her who was bringing my drink over.  She smiled as she came towards me and i started to fantasize about her a little bit, i imagined us living together, going for walks holding hands and then my daydreaming was interupted, as ice cold pepsi tipped all over me.  'oh my god, i so solly' she cried 'let me get a tissue for you'.  Even though my top and crotch were now freezing and soaking wet i didn't want to waste any time, so i just smiled and i asked her' would you like to go out sometime?' '   '....Go out?' she said back to me looking a bit puzzled.  I realised then that she wasn't a native speaker but i persisted 'yes' i said.  'hmmm.....OK' she said with a smile.  I couldn't believe my luck, i reached into my pocket to give her my number which i'd written down earlier.  'no, it's ok, i have paper here' she said tapping her waitress pad. I tried to explain to her slowly 'No, this paper here has my phone number on it, here' and i held it out to her.  She rolled her eyes at me and sighed, she took the paper out of my hand wrote her number down on the blank side and gave it back to me.  I was happy with that so i didn't bother clearing up the misunderstanding lol.  We had a little chat, then i went home with my treasured piece of paper promising to call her later.  I even tipped her £5 for pouring ice cold pepsi on me.

The Day I First Saw Her

Here in the uk you don't hear many romantic stories about when couples first meet each other, 99% of the time i hear 'we were both pissed up in a night club, went home and had a shag'.  This was also true in my case as all my previous partners had been from drunken encounters.  Of all the places it was a local chinese buffet where i first laid eyes on her, the feeling was so intense it was unbelievable, it was as if i was hit with a bag of bricks as i couldn't breathe, my tounge swelled up and i couldn't take my eyes off her.  She seemed like something out of a fairytale,  she was a dark haired asian beauty and everything about her was captivating.  She had a beautiful smile and seemed to be always smiling as if she didn't have a care in the world ( i later found out the reason she always smiles is because she's a bit simple minded).  Then a feeling came over me like a warm blanket and i realised instantly that i was in love with her, i know how crazy that sounds as even i never believed in love at first sight, but they say when you know you know and at that moment i knew, which made talking to her all the more difficult.  I would build up courage, walk up to her and want to ask her out, i thought it'd be best not to admit that i love her as this would most probably scare her into thinking im a stalker or somekind of psycho.  But everytime i got close to her the syptoms came back, i couldn't breathe, my palms were sweating, i tried my best to talk to her but all that ever came out was 'table for 1 please' or '1 takeaway please'. This went on for a perioid of about 5 months and every time i failed i felt like kicking myself for being unable to talk to her.  Note that i'm not a shy or nervous person by nature, this had never happened to me before and it was very frustrating.  Finally 1 day i got a wake up call when i showed up once again to try and talk to her when i noticed a note on the restaurant door 'closed down, sorry for any inconvenience caused'.  At this point i fell into a state of depression, because of my iniability to overcome my fears, i had lost her.